Until the moment of today I can still recall the following reaction:
“Robin… let me tell you this…..”
Unsaid words, dying in the air, but I can feel the unspoken words splintering into my chest, my being, my existence and broken spirit, still.
Silence, so clear and so full of meaning.
I am born in Saigon, 5.3 feet, raised and grown up in the working class, in Europe.
“Let’s be realistic. But there are plenty of other opportunities for you……..”, was his official response.
“You are never going to make that happen, face it.”
And not that my boss meant it wrong or was offensive to me, no blame or hard feeling from that point of view, at all. It was a reflection of the world around him, a proven paradigm. – So why should it be different, now?
Well, what I can tell you and what I will emphasize, is this;
Do not buy in on someone else’s story for you. Do not end up in somebody else’s plans, be greater than your situation and the given circumstances.
Follow your dreams & desires, your objectives and goals. Believe in it. No matter what someone else his plan –for you- is.
Eventually, in this story above, for me it was not the classic Hollywood script of unlimited motivation, drive and persistence. Not a tale of endless ambition and focus of being haunted by the unspoken words ever since, transforming the hurt into dedication and grinding. No, the desire from the past of guiding organizations came (back) on my path, just.
Nevertheless the ideal dream from a longed future had never vanished out of my once hurt being, my scarred spirit. In my unconsciousness it had always been a desire. Why? Because I knew what I loved and that vision had always been clear before my eyes.
And when the moment, the twilight was there, instinctively I stood up and took control over my own life. I was not going to commit to somebody else’s opinion of me. That image had not automatically have to become my truth.
When you are after something, your desires: aim high, shoot high.