Dark Light

For Moan, Not and the peacock, a tale of magical heroes

It’s about nine years ago that I worked with a colleague at a social security company, I call him “Not”.
Not was forty eight years old, divorced, paid a hell of alimony each month; for his wife, who was unofficial in a new relation. His new relationship was not all very stable, his son had took issues out of the divorce and his job was new and uncertain. His life sucked and at that moment he had one certainty, at the end he would die. The question was, how quickly?

Every morning Not came at work with the black, Gallows humor, cynical and demotivating look in his eyes, voice and being. Deception was dripping all down of him. Every morning he was closer to his destiny, his destination. What did he do to deserve this?

Not was sitting at the same block, in the same team.
We, the block, started with humor, playing the joke on Not, firing his misery back on him….Laughing….
And Not, Not grinned too, with us, with a phony laugh. Recognizing his disaster, facing it…. Dealing with it…. Suddenly, slowly we discovered a small sparkle, of something, joy, was it hope?

One day we forced Not to begin the day with saying up loud, quoting: “life is beautiful….”.
Why? At least to have fun, seeing him struggle, watching the inner fight. But as well, to have him – and us, looking forward to this daily entertainment, the beginning of a wonderful being together. We listened, shared moments, cheered and filled the morning with laughter.

We, and Not repeated this, every morning…., for years. And we laughed, Not making the jokes on himself…..
While doing this we had fun, challenged ourselves, with stupid funny stuff, stretching boundaries, personal, of the world, every day. Imagine, doing a contest of licking the window 😉

Slowly this daily ritual provided joy, fun, energy and life!
We framed every morning with welcoming the day, joy and a way to move on….

One day something magical happened, “guys, Life is beautiful…….. because”….., there was a reason
We saw a change, slowly the mind had evaluated and created a different perception.. we all looked forward to our daily ritual, with Not…
From that moment, the vibe was different…… more and more happy stories were told and Not his world was changing….. “I love you, like men that can do.”, I even might have heard.
I am writing this with a smile on my face, with pride, with blessing.

The magnificent wonder was to see, the final step; Not, telling, promoting, convincing, broadcasting other people how beautiful life was, so gentle and genuine, full of awareness and consciousness…. In his special way, with that youthful smile on his face.
A smile of true, honest and pure believe about the good things, and happiness in life…

Even after the tragically death of one of our team member, Moan, we kept laughing and joking.
I can recall the last moments with Moan, in a nursery hostile, the three of us, sitting at the bed and in our last moments we laughed about life, mocking and making fun….
Not, spoke the final words at the funeral, bravely. And every year ever since I receive a message when Not has visited the memorial.

Last October I received a letter:

Dear Robin,

How is life? Long time no see.
Still roaming the globe, having great adventures and joy?

With me things are beautiful, still.
I am in a new relation with lots of wonderful time together. At this moment we are finding out how best live together, fitting “US” into our lives.
But the future is smiling upon us.

At the office things are ok, not challenging, but just ok. No new or exciting challenges.
BUT, from March on I have a “sabbatical” for eight months!
Mid-March I fly with my son to Nepal to start a hiking adventure, together. Furthermore there are some other trips with my girlfriend on the radar.
For now, I am happy. If you have time to meet up soon to have a bite, let me know. Life is beautiful!

Yours, (forever) your buddy,

Tomorrow I have a dinner date with Nothing,- from now on “Everything”, I am excited and looking forward.

~ Life is beautiful, make everything out of it ~

  1. 2017, February 24th-
    The day after the evening before, spending time, hanging out with Everything, amazing.
    Everything recalled the time with the team as a clan, together, connected, forever.

    In the meantime Everything has taken the shot, quit his job and starting a new challenge for after his sabbatical.
    He is looking forward to his sabbatical and the quality time with his son, in his desired Nepal.

    This summer Everything will follow the path and road of his father.
    With his father’s diary in his hand Everything will ride by bike from Berlin to Amsterdam, home.
    Everything will finish a journey that started early summer 1945, finally.

    After, Moan, no more desiring, no more unfulfilled wishes anymore.
    Wish, live, now.

    I wish Everything good fortune and blessings during his journeys.
    Because, he is my clan.

  2. It’s nice to see your professional colleagues turn into a family of brothers. I can really relate to this as some of my colleagues started as your competition and in the end being a shoulder to cry on. Great story Robin, my best wishes to mr Everything!

    1. Many Thanks, Alvin.

      We achieve things, make things happen in professional life.
      But at the end of the day it is not about results, but it’s the people, the team you have the common spirit and believe with.

      Bless you, Alvin.
      All the best,

  3. 2017, March 15th-

    Hi Robin, How are you?
    I am thinking of you, while my son and I are waiting for our first trip to the East. ⛺⛺
    Today we are on our way, together. finally- Amazing!

    All the best, Greetings and hugs.

    1. 2017, March 15th-

      I am proud of you. A perfect trip together and to your desired dream destination.
      Less people may experience such a privilege, cherish it with your heart and enjoy it to the limit.
      Super. Greetings to your son and keep us posted of your adventure and discoveries.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Related Posts


Hope rises like a phoenix from the ashes of shattered dreams. And just as the Phoenix rose from…